Who am I?

I am an enigma. I exist only in my mind. I take up space in the physical realm. Some days I interact with other human beings. Some days I don't. On the days that I don't, I pose as a "normal". I am far from normal. My biggest fear is being outted as "abnormal"

I am pagan, but you would never guess by looking at me. I am into many alternative lifestyles. I exist in a world of Southern Baptist moms. Therefore I am "in the closet"  I pose as one of them.

 I have a tattoo. and a VCH piercing...both of which are kept secret. Why? Because it's "different" that's why!

Why do I worry about being different? I don't know. I really don't know. I grew up with a belief that I was somehow "better and smarter" than most people. I think that I am afraid of being thought of as somehow "less of a person" because I am different. I am trying to slowly come out of the closet so to speak.


I am a hoarder. Not a messy. Not just lazy. I am a hoarder. I have come to accept that as well. I am trying to change that too. I have used stuff to hide the real me. See if it is messy then I won't have to let anyone in. They can't find out what I really am that way.

 I find that the more I accept myself the better my hoarding has become. I need a little help in some areas. I never learned the proper "schedule" for kids growing up. Bathtime bedtime cleanup routines etc. Slowly but surely, I'm getting it together though.

None of this is common knowledge. To the outside world, I am supermom.

I hope to be able to be a super mom for real someday. Pagan and all...

After writing all of this, I see how stupid I sound. It is not really a big deal to be different. This  page will probably be completely rewritten by the end of the week. It, like me, will change for the better.